


hurt

by would_you_like_some_angst_with_that



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Blood, M/M, Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 07:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4296396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/would_you_like_some_angst_with_that/pseuds/would_you_like_some_angst_with_that
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel's hurt. Spike helps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hurt

He’s hurt.

He doesn’t want to admit it, the sodding poof, but he’s hurt.

Badly.

He won’t let you touch him.

He says he’s fine but you know better than that

Because it’s not like you can’t hear those halting breaths

It’s not like you can’t see his mouth twitch

his teeth clenching

his fingers grasping the sheets just a bit tighter

And it’s not like you can’t smell the pain that’s rising from his skin

from his throat

from his bones

Not to mention that the blood’s pretty much ruined the bedsheets

And you know for a fact that if he were fine

He wouldn’t have even let you inside his room in the first place.

There’s a part of you that just wants to let him lie there

A part of you that just wants to watch and sneer and make rude remarks

Light a fag and blow it in his wounds

Watch his face turn stone

Watch him as he realizes that he can’t

take you down

No, not this time

That part of you revels that there is nothing that he can do to you

for once.

But then there’s another part of you

that wants to inch closer to him

There’s a part of you that wants to sit down beside him

to bend over and

inhale the sick, sweet blood

to press your fingers

gently at first

against the open wound

hear him gasp

hear him curse

hear him try to move to

get you the fuck away from him

but he’s too weak

and this time,

you’ll be the one taking him down.

_Relax_

you want to breathe

_I won’t hurt you._

And even though you’d die before you’d admit it

You know that it’s true.

Because even after years of

him splitting you open

and apart and even after

years of him breaking you down

and tearing you up

and even after years of him

shattering and beating and destroying

everything

 _everything_ you dared to call good and sacred

and yours

You still will not hurt him.

Sure, you’ll strap him to a cross and laugh as you watch him struggle,

cutting himself on the chains that he’s straining against

as he bends forward to avoid burning himself on the silver.

And sure, you’ll run him through with pokers

and line his heart with stakes

and dangle him out to the early morning sun.

But that’s all just physical.

No, see, hurting him would be

taking him into your mouth

slow

kissing him

tender

looking up at him

vulnerable,

the way you know

that she did.

Hurting him would be

whispering

right before he comes

_I won’t forget_

 

_I will never forget._

 

Hurting him would be

saying softly

_Let’s make love._

And though for all that he did to you

even though he may very well deserve it

you cannot bring yourself

to do that.

So instead,

you’ll press your lips against his skin

and lick the blood off his ankles

off his knees

off his hips

You won’t raise your eyes to look at him

when he tries to grab your hair

to push you away.

Instead, you will catch his hand with yours

and lick the blood off his fingers

one by one

kissing the palm

trailing your tongue down his wrist.

And when you get up to

his neck

You know he’ll make that strangled sound

The sound he makes when you’ve gone too far

He’ll think about opening his mouth to speak

But he’ll be afraid that if he does

You’ll stop it with yours

So he’ll stay silent

He’ll close his eyes

He’ll clench his teeth

He’ll tighten his grip

on the bedsheets

Feeling horribly insecure

and helpless

and breakable

And you

You will finally look at him

Your lips hovering above his

And you will ask him

where it hurts.


End file.
